Office Im So Smart Quote Funny

TV Show Quotes Quotes

1. You guys I'm like really smart now. You don't even know. You could ask me, Kelly what's the biggest company in the world?

And I'd be like, 'blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.' Giving you the exact right answer.

- Kelly Kapoor

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Dumbness   |    Trying To Be Smart   |    Talking Too Much   |

Explore More Quotes

2. Just have a little faith

- Prison Break

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Believe in Yourself   |    Motivational   |    Corona Virus   |

3. Birthdays are a scam. They were invented by Hallmarks to sell cards.

- Ron Swanson

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Funny   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |    Invention   |

4. Nothing else matters - only us.

- Jaime Lannister

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Love Quotes for Her   |

5. Never half-ass two things.

Full-ass one thing.

- Ron Swanson

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |

6. You are one constant in a sea of variables.

- Mr. Robot

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Friendship   |    Love Quotes for Her   |

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7. I still don't understand why people like sports.

They get so emotional over the weirdest things.

But I do see the beauty in the rules.
The invisible code of chaos hiding behind the menacing face of order.

- Mr. Robot

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sports   |    Beauty   |    Hugot Lines in English   |    Meaningful   |    Instagram captions for Girls   |    Chaos   |

8. People should get what they deserve.

- Dexter

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Deserve   |

9. Is any of it real?

A world built on fantasy. Synthetic emotions in the form of pills; psychological warfare in the form of advertising; mind-altering chemicals in the form of food; brainwashing seminars in the form of media; controlled isolated bubbles in the form of social networks. Real? You wanna talk about reality?

We haven't lived in anything remotely close to it since the turn of the century. We turned it off, took out the batteries, snacked on a bag of GMOs while we tossed the remnants in the ever expanding dumpster of the human condition. We live in branded houses trademarked by corporations built on bipolar numbers, jumping up and down on digital displays, hypnotising us into the biggest slumber mankind has ever seen. We live in a kingdom of bullshit; a kingdom you've lived in for far too long. So don't tell me about not being real. I'm no less real than the f***ing beef patty in your Big Mac.

- Mr. Robot

 

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Quotes that make you think   |    Bipolar   |    Media   |    Brainwashing   |

10. Why do they fight so desperately to mask what they are?

Or is it that they become who they are when they put on the mask?

Sometimes I wonder what you hide behind, my silent friend.

What mask do you wear?

Or are you just as afraid as the rest of them?

- Mr. Robot

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Hugot Lines in English   |    Meaningful   |    Desperate   |    Hiding Behind A Mask   |

11. You know, but you are going to ignore it.

You know why?

Because that is what we do.

- Mr. Robot

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Hugot Lines in English   |    Meaningful   |

12. Masters.

We all have them.

Every relationship is a power struggle.

Some of us need to be controlled.

Once in a while, the best course of action is to just ride shotgun.

Stare at the road ahead, and hope it leads somewhere you want to go.

- Mr. Robot

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Meaningful   |

13. Metadata - The story behind the data.

Getting information is one things, but how it was created - where and by whom - can often be illuminating.

Like most pics people post on Instagram or Facebook, they don't realize they just gifted whatever social media site their camera type, phone model, name and location - all hidden inside the photograph's metadata.

- Mr. Robot

   

Tags: Data   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Photography   |    Social Media   |    Facebook   |    Instagram   |

14. Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: Public Speaking   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Writers Block   |    The Office   |

15. I talk a lot, so I've learned to tune myself out.

- Kelly Kapoor

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Talking Too Much   |

16. Would I rather be feared or loved?

Easy.

Both.

I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: Fear   |    TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Loved   |    Fear Of Losing   |    I Would Rather   |

17. I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Superstition   |

18. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Identity Theft   |

19. I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Responsibility   |    The Office   |    Feel Good   |

20. I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.

- Kevin Malone

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Life Goals   |    The Office   |    Carefree   |    All I Ever Wanted   |    Hot Dog Puns   |

21. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn't hear the other dead people.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Death   |    The Office   |    Wall   |    Hearing   |

22. And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Realization   |    The Office   |    No Idea   |

23. There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?

- Pam Beesly

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Beauty   |    Minimalism   |    The Office   |    Simplicity   |

24. Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn.

- Andy Bernard

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Fight   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    The Office   |    Nonsense   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |

25. One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.

- Jim Halpert

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Speed Bump   |    Highway   |

26. Mini cupcakes?

As in the mini version of regular cupcakes?

Which is already a mini version of cake?

Honestly, where does it end with you people?????

- Kevin Malone

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Cupcakes   |    Complaining   |    Third World Problems   |    Oh God Why   |    Funny Food   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |    Cake Puns   |

27. I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat.

Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party.

- Pam Beesly

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    I Dont Care   |    The Office   |    Funny Food   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |

28. That's what she said.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Poor Joke   |

29. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.

- Andy Bernard

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Fake Friendship   |    The Office   |    Ungrateful   |    Thankless   |

30. I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.

- Kelly Kapoor

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Hot   |    Cupcakes   |    Cake Puns   |

31. I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

- Andy Bernard

   

Tags: Life   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Find A Way   |    Way Of Life   |    The Office   |    Good Old Days   |

32. What are your weaknesses?

"I don't have any, a--hole"

- Kelly Kapoor

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Weakness   |    The Office   |    Job   |    Interview   |

33. You only live once?

False.

You live every day.
You only die once.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: Life   |    Quotes that make you think   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Death   |    Wrong   |    The Office   |    Live   |

34. The doctor said, if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die.

I'm going to die.

- Stanley Hudson

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Find A Way   |    Negativity   |    Death   |    Positive Thinking   |    The Office   |    Doctor   |

35. It takes an advanced sense of humor.

I don't expect everybody to understand.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: Expectations   |    TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Sense Of Humor   |    Poor Joke   |    Advanced   |

36. I stopped caring a long time ago.

- Creed Bratton

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    I Dont Care   |    The Office   |    Carefree   |    Stopped   |

37. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think,

'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would,

I do not do that thing.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Idiot   |    Sarcastic   |    Thinking   |    Savage Comebacks   |    The Office   |    Do Something   |

38. I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate…no.

But, I live by another rule:

Just do it…Nike.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    No Way   |    Messy   |    Inappropriate   |    Rules   |    Just Do It   |

39. In the Schrute family, the youngest child raises the others.

I've been raising children since I was a baby.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Family   |    Children   |    The Office   |    Raising Children   |    Baby   |

40. 'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it 'murder' and not 'mukduk.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    R   |    Menace   |    Murder   |

41. I'm not a millionaire.

I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn't even close.

Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Money   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Millionaire   |    Time   |    Turning 30   |    Turning 40   |    Less Money   |

42. Jim is my enemy.

But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

So Jim, is actually my friend.

But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: Friendship   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Confused   |    Enemy   |    The Office   |    Frenemies   |    Mixed Feelings   |    Worst   |

43. I feel God in this Chili's tonight.

- Pam Beesly

   

Tags: Fear   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Feelings   |    Public Speaking   |    The Office   |    Speech   |    Awards   |    Stage Fright   |    Chilis   |    Tonight   |

44. As it turns out, you can't just check someone into rehab against their will. They have to do it voluntarily.

They have to hit rock bottom.

So I think I know what I need to do at this point. I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom.

Um. I think I can do it.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Rehab   |    Will   |    Hitting Rock Bottom   |

45. I used to be obese. Once you've conquered obesity, everything else is easy. Life literally moves in slow motion.

I'm not saying I'm Superman, but let me just put it this way. If I were shot in the head, I'm pretty sure everything would be fine. I'd almost welcome it.

- Deangelo Vickers

   

Tags: Life   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Easy   |    Satire   |    The Office   |    Obesity   |    Conquer   |    Superman   |    Over Confidence   |    Superhero   |

46. Every so often, Jim dies of boredom.

- Pam Beesly

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Boredom   |

47. Well, today was a fantastic waste of time.

- Ryan Howard

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Boredom   |    Waste of Time   |

48. Guess what, I have flaws. What are they?

Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower.
Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Flaws   |    Volunteering   |    Sue Me   |

49. My, philosophy is, basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't, ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or, or where you've been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Confused   |    Wrong   |    The Office   |    Philosophy   |    Speech   |

50. If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: Burn   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Hate   |    The Office   |    Gun   |    Frenemies   |    Irritated   |

51. Nobody should have to go to work thinking, 'Oh this is the place that I might die today.' That's what a hospital is for.

An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest. To the max.

To…an office is a place where dreams come true.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Work Life   |    Work Motivation   |    Death   |    Dream   |    The Office   |    Hospital   |    Today   |    Live Life   |

52. There are always a million reasons not to do something.

- Jan Levinson

   

Tags: Inspirational Women   |    Motivational   |    TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Reasons   |    Follow Your Dream   |

53. Why are you the way that you are?

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: Burn   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Oh God Why   |

54. Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips out your heart for no good reason. And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then, suddenly, she's not your ho no mo.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Bro   |    Heart Break   |

55. Oh my God it's happening! Everybody stay calm. Stay f*cking calm!

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Keep Calm   |    Dont Keep Calm   |

56. I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It's every parent's dream.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Dream   |    The Office   |    Kids   |

57. I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They're always complaining.

I have varicose veins, too.
I have swollen ankles.
I'm constantly hungry.
Do you think my nipples don't get sore too?
Do you think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital?

- Stanley Hudson

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Complaining   |    Pregnant   |

58. I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit it in an air conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for … that is the life.

- Stanley Hudson

   

Tags: Judgemental   |    TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Jury Duty   |    Thats Called Life   |

59. Newsflash: You are not special.

- Stanley Hudson

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    You Are Not Special   |

60. DID I STUTTER?

- Stanley Hudson

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Stuttering   |    Passive Aggressive   |

61. It's like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong.

And if you don't like it you can leave.

And I say the same thing to my current wife and I'll say it to my next one, too.

- Stanley Hudson

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Wrong   |    Wife   |    The Office   |    Leave   |

62. Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend.

And I had to do the hardest thing I've ever had to do, which was just to wait.

For a really long time that's all I had. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend.

And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think even then I knew that I was waiting for my wife.

- Jim Halpert

   

Tags: Love Quotes for Her   |    Love   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Marriage   |    Crush   |    Hard To Impress   |    Real Love   |    Unconditional Love   |    Wife   |    Real Love   |    The Office   |    Waiting   |    Little Moments   |    Crazy   |

63. I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?

- Kelly Kapoor

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Question   |    The Office   |    How Dare You   |

64. Whether you're scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don't be.

It's going to be OK.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Death   |    The Office   |    Scared   |    Its OK   |

65. I work hard all day. I like knowing that there's going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break.

- Kevin Malone

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Work Hard   |    Lazy   |    The Office   |    Chill   |    Demotivational Work   |    Break   |

66. Ultimatums are key.

Basically nobody does anything for me unless I threaten to kill myself.

- Kelly Kapoor

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Do Something   |    Ultimatum   |    Nobody   |    Favor   |    Threatening   |    Kill   |    Emotional Blackmail   |

67. I normally don't enjoy making people laugh.

- Angela Martin

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Laughing   |    The Office   |    Enjoy   |

68. Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick.

- Kevin Malone

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Waste of Time   |    Trick   |

69. No, I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don't tell them.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    The Office   |    Poor Joke   |    Downsizing   |    Patience   |    Stupid   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |

70. Look, it doesn't take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?

- Oscar Martinez

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    The Office   |    Genius   |    Sailor   |    Ship   |

71. I run a small fake-ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the Sheriff's station.

- Creed Bratton

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |

72. If I don't have some cake soon, I might die.

- Stanley Hudson

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Foodie   |    Death   |    The Office   |    Cupcakes   |    Funny Food   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |    Cake Puns   |

73. Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Work Life   |    Boring   |    Showing Off   |    The Office   |    Peacock   |    Powerpoint   |    Meat   |

74. My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. He is very real.

- Jim Halpert

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Meet   |    Very Real   |

75. Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is 'cause you're not good at interacting with people. But guess what? From now on, you guys are no longer losers. So gives yourselves a round of applause.

- Kelly Kapoor

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Honest   |    The Office   |    Accountant   |    Socially Awkward   |    Introvert   |    Loser   |

76. I don't want to be married in a tent like a hobo

- Angela Martin

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Marriage   |    The Office   |    Hobo   |

77. It is not a good time for me to lose my job since I have some pretty big long-term plans in my personal life with Pam that I'd like her parents to be psyched about.

So, I am about to do something very bold in this job that I've never done before: try.

- Jim Halpert

   

Tags: Marriage   |    Planning   |    Trying   |    Job   |    Losing Job   |    The Office   |    TV Show Quotes   |

78. Who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of a game is that?

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Mind Games   |    Thinking   |    The Office   |    Manipulation   |    Shocking   |

79. I've been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.

- Creed Bratton

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Leadership   |    Money   |    Follower   |    The Office   |    Cult   |    Fun   |

80. Yes, I have a dream, and it's not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there's a button that I can press, and launch that lighthouse into space.

- Stanley Hudson

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Dream   |    The Office   |    Nobody   |    Lighthouse   |    Wishlist   |    Introvert   |    Carefree   |    House   |

81. I once reported Oscar to the INS. Turns out he's clean, but I'm glad I did it.

- Angela Martin

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Hate   |    Enemy   |    The Office   |    Not Sorry   |

82. We have a gym at home. It's called the bedroom.

- Phyllis Lapin Vance

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Lazy   |    The Office   |    Gym   |    Bedroom   |    Workout   |

83. I don't hate it.

I just don't like it at all and it's terrible.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Hate   |    Confused   |    The Office   |    Being Nice   |

84. You guys I'm like really smart now. You don't even know. You could ask me, Kelly what's the biggest company in the world?

And I'd be like, 'blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.' Giving you the exact right answer.

- Kelly Kapoor

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Dumbness   |    Trying To Be Smart   |    Talking Too Much   |

85. The people here are amazing debaters. I guess you can say they are master-baters.

- Kevin Malone

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Annoyingly Funny   |    The Office   |    Debate   |    Quotes that will make you cry   |

86. When you're a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.

- Pam Beesly

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Marriage   |    Being Right   |    The Office   |    Feel Good   |    Kids   |    Parents   |    Soulmate   |    Assumption   |

87. I miss the days when there was only one party I didn't want to go to.

- Ryan Howard

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    I Dont Care   |    The Office   |    Party   |

88. I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.

- Angela Martin

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Mystery   |    Genre   |    Disgusting   |

89. As a person who buys a lot of erotic cakes, it's nice to be represented on one.

- Phyllis Lapin Vance

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Cupcakes   |    Weird   |    Say What   |    Cake Puns   |

90. I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn't hate me.

- Pam Beesly

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Pleasing   |    Hate   |    Cute   |    The Office   |    Convincing   |

91. Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Dumbness   |    The Office   |    ASAP   |    Hurry   |    Call Me   |

92. Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug and didn't seem to realize that it wasn't his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won't notice?

- Jim Halpert

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    I Dont Care   |    Lost   |    The Office   |    Carefree   |    OJ   |

93. I love inside jokes. I'd love to be a part of one someday.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Inside Jokes   |    Excluded   |

94. Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top.

I've read some of it.

Even for the Internet, it's… pretty shocking.

- Ryan Howard

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Blogging   |    Fool   |    The Office   |    Internet   |    Shocking   |

95. Your body is a temple.

You have to respect it.

You can't just whore it out.

- Angela Martin

   

Tags: Quotes that make you think   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Body   |    The Office   |    Self Respect   |

96. I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn.

I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers.

Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: Failure   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Strategy   |    Learning   |    The Office   |    Unfair Advantage   |    Loser   |    Winner   |

97. Close your mouth, sweetie.

You look like a trout.

- Phyllis Lapin Vance

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Savage Comebacks   |    The Office   |    Shut Up   |

98. I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little.

But on pretzel day?

Well, I like pretzel day.

- Stanley Hudson

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Work Life   |    Optimism   |    The Office   |    Job   |    Less Money   |    Demotivational Work   |    Bed   |    Expensive   |    Pretzel   |

99. Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool.

Because they are un-understandable.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Confused   |    Men and Women   |    Fool   |    The Office   |    Understanding Women   |

100. Let's have an auction

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Dumbness   |    Racist   |    The Office   |    Auction   |    Insensitive   |

101. Blink once if you want me to pull the plug.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Blink   |

102. I think it's great that the company's making a commercial, because not very many people have heard of us.

I mean, when I tell people I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers or muffins or mittens or...and frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.

- Jim Halpert

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Advertising   |    The Office   |    Commercials   |    Paper   |

103. Michael always says, 'K-I-S-S, keep it simple, stupid.' Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Simplicity   |    Work Life   |    Simple   |    The Office   |    Stupid   |    Work Tip   |    Keep It Simple   |

104. Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life. She treated me poorly, we didn't connect, I was miserable.

Now, I am in the best relationship of my life, with the same woman. Love is a mystery.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Things Getting Worse   |    Dumbness   |    Relationship   |    The Office   |    Oh God Why   |    Miserable   |    Shocked   |    Treating Badly   |    Mystery   |    Unaware   |

105. You cheated on me?

When I specifically asked you not to?

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Cheating   |    Aww   |

106. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn.

And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one.

I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn't even talk yet.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Imagination   |    Mental Picture   |    Dumbness   |    The Office   |    Unicorn   |    Unaware   |    Rainbow   |

107. I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it...

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Sarcastic   |    Things Getting Worse   |    Dumbness   |    The Office   |    Summer   |    Unaware   |

108. Ok, too many different words from coming at me from too many different sentences.

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Public Speaking   |    Confused   |    The Office   |    Speech   |    Word   |

109. Growing up I performed my own circumcision.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Ability   |    The Office   |    Circumcision   |

110. Kelly: Jim!!! Oh my god, I have so much to tell you. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had a baby, and they named it Sure! And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie also had a baby, and they named it Shiloh! And both babies are amazing!

Jim: Wow! So, uh, what's new with you?

Kelly: I just told you.

- Kelly Kapoor

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Gossip   |

111. Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant.

Pam: Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.

- Pam Beesly

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Drama   |    Sarcastic   |    Good Ideas   |    The Office   |    Thanks   |

112. I'm in love with Kelly Kapoor. And I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but I do know that right here, right now, all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with her.

Again, that could change.

- Ryan Howard

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    Feelings   |    Honest   |    Confused   |    The Office   |

113. Maybe we weren't right together, but, it's weird. I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?

- Ryan Howard

   

Tags: Selfishness   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Confused   |    The Office   |    I Would Rather   |    Two Faced People   |

114. There is no such things as an appropriate joke.

That's why it is a Joke!

- Michael Scott

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Inappropriate   |    Joke   |

115. I am in an office relationship.

It's special.

Mmm.. she's nice .. she's shy.

She's actually here if you wanna meet her.

- Jim Halpert

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Office Relationship   |

116. When Pam's Mom asks her...

"So which one is Jim?"

- Jim Halpert

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Mother   |    Mothers Day   |

117. Not everything is a lesson Ryan. Sometimes you just fail.

- Dwight Schrute

   

Tags: Failure   |    TV Show Quotes   |    The Office   |    Lesson   |

118. You really do live in your own little world don't you?

- Chandler Bing

   

Tags: TV Show Quotes   |    FRIENDS TV Show   |    Sarcastic   |    Savage Comebacks   |

119. "There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional."

The Office TV Show: Robert California (the new boss) on choosing Andy to be the manager of The Office.

   

Tags: The Office   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Inspirational   |    Underdog   |    Unexceptional   |

120. May God speed you. May the Sun not burn your skin. May the rain not make you cold. May stones stay away from your feet. Go like water, and come back like water.

- Ertugrul

   

Tags: Prayer   |    Wishes   |    Feel Good   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Stone   |

121. So you want me to change who I am?

No, I just want you to hide who you are.

   

Tags: Savage Comebacks   |    Funny   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Who Am I   |

122. I Need You To Tell Me That I'm A Good Person.

   

Tags: Bojack Horseman   |    TV Show Quotes   |    Being Nice   |    Approval   |

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Source: https://readbeach.com/quote/you-guys-i-m-like-really-smart-now-you-don-t-even-know-you-could-ask-m

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